What About Me?

This is a question we may find ourselves asking when we are feeling left out, abandoned, not-good-enough, and like we are on the outside looking in. We feel no one is looking out for us and somehow we are not getting the amount of love and attention that we need in order to feel safe.

Sometimes these feelings come over us because it is what is actually happening. We literally were left out of the loop of an important conversation, our partner just ended the relationship with us, or we were looked over for a promotion. If we are generally secure within ourselves we may feel confused or sad over such experiences, but for the most part we recover our equilibrium and move forward. Many of us though, experience these sorts of things and feel overwhelmed by emotions that take us by surprise. Our anxiety and insecurities creep up suddenly and without warning.

Other times, in reality, we are loved, wanted and appreciated, but we feel panicky when we don't get a phone call that we're expecting. We find that we are lonely more due to a partner working overtime. Intellectually we know that it is necessary, but emotionally we feel a little less safe and a little less loved and we don't know why.

In either type of scenario part of what we may be feeling is abandonment issues from the past that still linger because they have not been fully resolved emotionally. Some examples of life situations that can produce abandonment issues later in life are:

Having a parent or grandparent die.
The divorce of your parents .
Being the child of an alcoholic, drug user, or other kind of addict.
Having both parents work.
Starting school after having been very close to parents.
Growing up in a war zone.
Being adopted.
Having a parent who withdraws emotionally.

...and many other scenarios.

Because of the amount of natural dependency that a child has on it's primary caregivers for food, shelter, love, etc...these kinds of events create a biological experience of stress in children which gets recorded in the survival part of our brains. So when we experience even mild losses or inconsistencies in life we may feel our emotions much more intensely than someone who has never experienced any long-term abandonment growing up.

As you can see, both "ordinary" and traumatic things can create a sense of abandonment in a child, so in order to understand your own abandonment issues, be sure to think broad and with the vulnerable heart and limited understanding of a child...because that is how you were when it occurred. In order to cope, we oftentimes suppressed the intense feelings and as we grew up we just accepted that "it was just the way it was" so the original emotions you had as a kid may still be deep inside of you. That is what makes the intense feelings of "what about me" so intense because, not only does the current-day event or experience create pain, but your inner-child is also crying out for comfort over something that occurred long ago.

It is important that we all learn how to be there for ourselves both in the present and in relationship to the hurts we suffered growing up. When you feel abandonee remind yourself that you have yourself and that you are enough. If that feels like a foreign or ridiculous concept then start finding ways to love yourself more...embrace what is loveable and worthy about you. Do things that are healthy for you that make you feel joyful and alive! If you still feel at a loss, then reach out to a trusted friend or advisor who can remind you of who you really are and help you sooth the loss from long ago so you can shine bright today!

Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)
Amanda

Please visit http://EmpathicaAmanda.com/ for more information on my services. You can call 1-888-MY-ETHER ext. 12345678 to speak with me directly (if I am available...if not, please email me for an appointment!)

Or get a FREE Reading using the Empathic Mystic Online Tarot by visiting http://empathicmystic.com/

Will He/She Ever Love Me?

This is a question that psychics, empaths, and tarot readers get asked a lot. Being a woman who has loved and lost at various points in my life, I can say that I totally understand why so many people want to know this when they get a reading about the people they love. We can all become deeply attached to the love we feel for another and experience strong desires to have that love returned to us. At it's core it is as natural as the mother/child bond, but in love relationships...as well as within the mother/child bond...love and loving choices towards another is not always returned, sustained, or expressed.

In many ways, when we ask if someone will ever love us, we are asking if a person will ever change. Regardless of a readers prediction about that question, it's always up to the individual because we all have free will and can change or not change at any time. Sometimes the question arises from the desire to know if we should hold on when things are rough...we want validation on whether things will change out of fear of letting go too soon. Or other times we may ask because we want to be loved so badly by a specific person, even when they treat us in a way that makes us feel bad. If we can get someone to tells us that we will be loved eventually by that person, then we can use that to trick our brains into not feeling the pain of their present lack of love for us. The pain we would naturally feel if we didn't have outside assurance from a psychic reader telling us that one day we will be loved by them. If we allow ourselves to feel the pain of our current reality then we allow life to work action and change into our lives...which is what we really need when we are not loved in a relationship.

Even though I understand the yearning behind the question of "will they ever love me?", I have to say that I also think it's one of the most distracting and destructive questions you can ask and focus on when seeking guidance from a psychic or tarot reader. No prediction...not even from the best psychics around... is 100% reliable when it comes to affairs of the heart, because all people have free will to change their minds and a lot of times psychics pick up on energy that the person in question isn't even conscious of within themselves...and an unconscious person cannot be relied upon to act in a predictable way. Most importantly, it totally gets you away from what is happening today, and your happiness rests in what you are living and putting energy towards right now.

Love means a lot of different things to different people. Someone may have feelings of love for you, but they may not choose to be with you or life circumstances are such that they can't. You may feel comfort knowing that they at least love you, but if you aren't feeling that directly from the other person then what you are doing is experiencing it vicariously through your reader...and that is not love...you deserve more than a vicarious experience of love...you deserve the real thing. Not only do you deserve it, but it's what your soul wants because that is what is healing to humans...love. So trying to feel it through others only keeps you connected to a blocked source of love rather than letting you heal from your disappointment and move on so you can find love in a person who is willing and able to share it with you directly.

If you are left with the belief that one day someone who isn't behaving lovingly towards you now, will be loving towards you in the future...you are vulnerable to putting up with a lot of non-loving behavior waiting for the love to come. You shouldn't have to wait for love...it is either there or it is not and if you have to ask for outside confirmation about that love, then there is a good chance that it is not there, or the person is choosing to not share it...in which case you are better off to accept it, grieve, and move on.

When we look at things as they are today and make our choices for ourselves based on that, and not on future predictions, then we begin to set the stage for love to enter our life. When we let go of a relationship that is not showing us love right now, we make space for a relationship that can be loving to enter. We are telling the Universe...I am not going to wait around and settle for a possible future prediction of love...and the Universe will support that.

Usually when we do choose to wait around for a person who is being unavailable with their love, it might be a way of avoiding real relationships. Real "in-your-face -right-now" relationships can bring up even more fears and uncertainty than a "future-maybe-hopefully- one-day-I-will-love-you" relationship because that kind of relationship requires you to be seen and known by another person right now. It asks for levels of emotional and sexual intimacy that might be uncomfortable, especially of we have been hurt in the past.

So understand your past and affirm your right to an available and loving future...and in the meantime consider asking your advisor about how you can be most loving to yourself at this time. The guidance and insight you receive from that question will carry you much closer to a true and lasting love, then a prediction about if he/she will ever love you.

Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading :-)
Amanda

Please visit http://EmpathicAmanda.com/ for more information on my services.

Or get a FREE Reading using the Empathic Mystic Online Tarot by visiting http://empathicmystic.com/

Alienation

Being around people with different values leads to alienation. If you are experiencing alienation at this time in your life you may want to re-consider who you are choosing to put yourself around and why. Often times alienation arises from being around people who have different values than our own. Values tend to radiate from the heart and often reflect how a person is managing their emotional life. We tend to assign worth to things based on how it makes us feel. A lack of values can often times come from undervaluing feelings in general due to not having enough stable and loving energy in our life growing up. Some life situations, such as work and school, require that we be around others regardless of their personal values. Sometimes we socialize within diverse groups that focus more on common interests and hobbies rather than a defined set of values. If we are clear about what our own values are then we can usually discover others in our environment who share similar values...whether they be virtuous or vain...and we feel content and connected. If we are not aware of what we value in life and in our relationships OR if we are in transition from our old way of looking at life into a “higher-self” perspective of life, then we may find ourselves feeling alienated often. This is never really fun while it is happening to us, but its an important part of the self-discovery process because it forces us to begin looking within for answers to what is important to us rather than to those around us. The physical discomfort alone is what tends to ignite the process. We feel uncomfortable in our bodies when we are around others. Maybe we feel sad, anxious, sleepy, worried, or angry. We may feel a need to escape from the scene of people that are surrounding our experience of alienation. Or perhaps we comfort ourselves by thinking and longing for the people who, not only accept us, but understand us. Sometimes we may have no one in our life that we feel understands us, in which case that is when the Internet can be a real blessing. If you find yourself feeling different than everyone around you, then you can rest assured that there is a least one other person out there who owns a computer who will get you... BUT FIRST... Take a moment to center yourself and figure out how you are different than those around you. Some questions to ask yourself are: Is there a spiritual difference? How have I changed since last year? If I could snap my fingers and have a best friend to talk to...what would I tell them in this moment? Why am I choosing to be around people that I feel I do not fit in with? Do I feel obligated on some level to be around them because they are old friends, co-workers, neighbors, or maybe even my own family? What worries me about sharing my true self at this time? Why am I afraid to be alone right now? The need to belong and feel accepted is a primal need originating from our ability to survive better in families and groups than as individuals when it comes to fulfilling our basic needs like food, water and shelter. The physical, mental, and emotional pain of aloneness is perhaps an early survival instinct to remind us to find others so that we can eat better and live a longer, more comfortable life. Over the history of humanity we, as individuals, have not been very choosy in who we put ourselves around. In order to survive we've had to make do and suppress the subtle differences between ourselves and others in order to work towards fitting in and getting along even when our basic emotional needs go unmet. Because we now live in a much more abundant world that offers an easier course for survival, we now get the opportunity to have real choice in who we put ourselves around...we just have to claim for ourselves that feeling truly understood and respected is valuable. This is why it is so important to clarify for yourself what you value when it comes to your feelings. Is it honesty? Commitment to working through problems? Listening? VALUE your VALUES because they are VALUABLE. They will guide you towards like-minded people that you can build relationships with. If you don't know your values or are in transition then your life experiences will constantly be reflecting this back to you so you can learn through your emotions what your values are. Values make us who we are because they inform our choices and so they are at the center of all concepts pertaining to “worth”...this includes self worth, money and things. The biggest challenge most people face in life is the process of understanding the difference between their own personal values and the values of their family of origin and culture. It's in the family and then later in school and religious institution that we first learn what is deemed “good” and “bad” in the world and in people. This is a helpful when you are labeling things like touching a hot stove and not killing each other, but humanity is much more complex than that and so often times outdated values about what is good and bad get passed on over and over again, even though they may not really deal with what contributes to healthy relationships, healthy living, and a healthy world. The survival instinct to belong (so that we can eat and live longer) is powerful in our unconscious minds and even in these modern times it can make it difficult for us to see when a family or cultural value that we carry around doesn't really serve our best interest and is even contributing to our unhappiness. An example of this is when a person is taught to think sex is dirty and sinful, but they find themselves wanting to be sexual anyway. If we don't understand that there is a difference in values taking place between what we feel inside and what we were taught, than we may feel discomfort in our bodies and won't understand why or we may think poorly of ourselves and attract negative experiences. In order to feel like you truly belong in this world, you may have to risk being alone for awhile. You may have to risk taking full responsibility for meeting your own mental, spiritual, emotional and physical needs until you figure things out and meet others like you. You may have to risk letting go of people who do not have the same values as you do. You may have to let go of values that do not even belong to you. The more you understand and embrace your own personal values the more your vibration will change to reflect that and the more you will attract others who share the same values as you. Your sense of belonging will come from within and will be reflected in the people you put yourself around. This is something we all deserve and can create so that we can live more emotionally fulfilling lives! If you would like to explore new ways that you can connect with people who will understand you or need insight into making peace with feeling different than others, consider a personal Tarot Reading. Please visit http://EmpathicAmanda.com for more information Or get a FREE Reading using the Empathic Mystic Online Tarot by visiting http://EmpathicMystic.com